Your Friends Are Buying Homes, You're Buying Reagents: A PhD Scholar's Guide to Financial & Emotional Well-being

 

You saw it again today, didn’t you?

You were scrolling through Instagram between experiments, waiting for a centrifuge to stop spinning. And there it was. A friend from your engineering college, standing with his wife in front of a new apartment in Bengaluru. The caption: "Our first home! #blessed #newbeginnings."

A few swipes later, a college friend's pre-wedding shoot in Udaipur. Another's new SUV. Another’s promotion announcement on LinkedIn.

And you? You posted a picture of a glowing blue gel on your Instagram story, a picture that only three people in the world would understand.

Let’s be honest with each other. Let’s not pretend it doesn’t sting.

It does. It’s a sharp, quiet pang in your chest. A voice that whispers, "What am I doing with my life?" You’re surviving on a stipend that barely covers rent, chasing a result that might not even work, while the world you once belonged to is moving on. They're collecting EMIs, promotions, and assets. You're collecting data.

If you have felt this, you are not failing. You are a PhD scholar in India. This feeling is part of the curriculum.

But this feeling is based on a lie. The lie is that you are falling behind. You are not falling behind. You are on a completely different path.

Call It What It Is: The Great Divergence

Your friends chose the highway. It’s a paved, well-lit, five-lane road. The milestones are clear: Junior Associate, Team Lead, Manager, New Car, 2BHK, 3BHK. It’s a good path. A respectable path.

You chose a different path. You chose to climb a mountain.

There is no paved road here. It’s a treacherous, unmarked trail. You have to cut your own path, clear the bushes, and sometimes you will slip and fall. The clouds will cover the peak and you’ll wonder if you’re even going in the right direction. It is harder. It is lonelier.

You cannot judge your progress on the mountain by looking at the milestones on their highway.

Their bank balance is bigger than yours right now. That is a fact. But you are building a different kind of wealth. You are accumulating assets they cannot buy.

The Assets You Don't See on a Bank Statement

When you feel that sting of comparison, I want you to remind yourself of the invisible assets you are building every single day.

1. The Asset of a Trained Mind. Don't ever confuse your PhD with just "studying more." You are not just learning facts. You are fundamentally rewiring your brain. You are developing the superpower to stare at a complex, messy problem that has no answer, and not give up. You are learning to think critically, to persevere through failure, and to create something new out of pure chaos. This is a level of mental resilience and problem-solving that a corporate job, with its structured tasks, can rarely teach.

2. The Asset of Deep Intellectual Capital. Your friend might be an expert on a particular software product. You are becoming one of maybe a hundred people on this planet who understands your specific niche this deeply. That knowledge is capital. It's not liquid like cash, but it’s rare, valuable, and gives you a unique authority that no one can take away.

3. The Asset of True Grit. Remember that experiment that failed for the sixth time? That paper that got rejected with soul-crushing reviewer comments? That time your guide told you your entire chapter was wrong? Every one of those moments, as painful as they were, forged a layer of steel in your soul. You have faced intellectual and emotional resistance that would make most people quit. You are still here. That grit is priceless.

How to Survive the Now

Understanding your long-term value is one thing. Getting through this month is another.

• On Money: Your stipend is your reality. Master it. Use an app to track every rupee. Share expenses ruthlessly with roommates. Say no to social outings you can't afford without guilt. Your real friends will understand. Your journey has a different budget. Own it.

• On Your Mind: Curate your social media feed like your life depends on it. Mute the accounts that trigger your anxiety. It's not jealousy; it's self-preservation. Instead, follow scientists, researchers, and thinkers who share the struggle of the journey, not just the highlights. Create a WhatsApp group with your closest lab mates and friends in research. Make it a safe space to vent, to complain about delayed stipends and failed experiments. You need a tribe that is climbing the same mountain.

They are building homes of brick and mortar. You are building the architecture of human knowledge.

Both are forms of construction. Both are honorable. They are just different.

So, the next time you see that post about a new home, allow yourself to feel the pang. It's human. But then, take a deep breath, look at your work—your data, your half-written chapter, your reagents lined up on the shelf—and remind yourself of the truth.

Your path is different. It is harder. It is lonelier. But you are not just buying things. You are on a quest to build understanding.

And that is an investment that will pay dividends for a lifetime. Don't you ever forget it.  Contact us on 

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